I’ve spent a few days out of town, in my boyfriend’s new flat. This new place is quite beautiful, a 100 year old townhouse, at street level.

The disadvantages of having a teenager as your partner sometimes becomes evident. Well, he is 23 years old, but his teenage years hasn’t run out yet. The time is noon. He is still sleeping as I am typing this. The clock on the wall is incorrect, as it stopped four years ago, and he didn’t bother changing batteries since.

So here comes the Luciferian’s top 5 advantages and disadvantages of having a teenage partner.


  1. Youthful energy you can draw on.
  2. They are always ready for sex.
  3. As sexual partners they can enjoy sex multiple times with no breaks in between.
  4. They usually like computers and technology
  5. They know all the latest trends


  1. Goes to bed late
  2. Gets out of bed even later
  3. Needs 12 hours of sleep.
  4. Strong opinions, no experience
  5. Interrupts when older people are talking

In my case I am old and experienced yet there is something about youth I don’t want to let go. Maybe my grandmother was right, then 90 years old when she gave me this insight once: “I still feel like 16 years in my head”.

Age is matured by experience and the decay of the body. In my case my body has not aged since around when I was 23. Except for a more dull hair, which I could color if I’d like. But I will just let it go grey.

My energy is quite young, my boyfriend complains every day that somewhere in there is a 10-year old girl that is trapped inside my body. This is the side of me that he sees when I am bored in supermarkets or we are doing something boring.

Except I do not sleep for that long! Fuck.