The first change I have gone through since last year is letting go of control. That does not mean everything must be happy-go-lucky. But it means to let go of your notions of letting go. Before the change I was more of a control-freak, that I needed to have conscious decision over everything that happens no matter what the situation. The feeling is like being drunk but unable to be drunk. You can only be tipsy but never experience to lose control, out of fear of simply losing control. Not that it would even be dangerous, but that the experience itself is too frightening so you can never let go. Of what? Of ego, perhaps. Simply put. More difficult put, it’s letting go of the material (Sephira: Malkuth, Element: Earth, Planet: Earth (or Saturn), Zodiak: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn (or Scorpio), Kabbalistic world: Assiah, Alchemical principle: Salt).

It is very Zen to read about monks who renounced the physical world, but it is not that I am talking about. If one were to look at it from a Zen perspective, it would be more about fighting the illusory effect of duality and attachment. The opposite of duality is unity (or emptiness) and the opposite of attachment is detachment (or emptiness). Alas the eastern way of seeing things are popular among westerners but westerners lost their own tradition that are most natural to them, but recognize the echo of truth.

The western way to see this process is to gain confidence in losing control, in order to dissolve the bad influences of the negative version of Scorpio/Saturn and being able to flex around stubbourn Taurus, while balancing the other aspects of earth.

Somehow it is not the external earth, or the (notion of) external energies we need to work with, but the internal earth in you, your earthen sides. Your scorpio side, etc.

In Jungian terms it is about finding and confronting your shadow self, in therms of Archetypes.

The hard part for newcomers and curious people about Luciferianism is to find anything beyond Michael Ford. Although he probably meant well, there is a reason why people still search for answers even after studying his work. The reason is quite simple, and that is they didn’t find the answers they were looking for.

Now, the problem is that in Luciferianism, there is no central authority. The Christians have their Bible. The Jews have their Torah. The Satanists have LaVey and the Thelemites have Aleister Crowley. We have none, and everything. We can point to truth when it appears, but true truth is not static.

We are the Zen Buddhists of the West. We don’t like authority but we can use authority and we are authority but we don’t like duality so we try to transmit the “true truth” or un-lie. We would also kill the Buddha.

Killing the Buddha

There’s an old saying, “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.”

Who’s that Buddha? What does it mean to “meet” the Buddha? What does killing the Buddha imply?

The historical Buddha, Shakyamuni, on attaining enlightenment, is said to have realized that all beings, just as they are, are Buddhas. If that’s so, meeting a Buddha on the road should be a pretty commonplace event! So should being a Buddha on the road! But that’s where the word “meeting” comes in. It implies encountering something or someone outside or other than oneself. We all come to practice carrying around images or ideals of who we should be and what we imagine a Teacher or Buddha should look like. And we may chase after individuals that for a while seem like they live up to our image, ignore those who do not, and generally treat ourselves with contempt for not living up to the standards set by our imaginary inner “Buddha.” All this may keep us pretty busy, but it has nothing to do with real practice, which is an awareness of who and what we actually are, not the pursuit of some ideal of who we think we should be. So “killing the Buddha” means killing or wiping out this fantasy image, and “the road” is two fold: the road outside where we look outside ourselves for the ones who have all the answers, and the inner mind road, where we set up all the “shoulds” we must obey to turn ourselves into the Buddhas we don’t believe we already are, but think we must become.

It is said that Shakyamuni’s last dying words to his disciples were, “Be a lamp unto yourselves.” Be your own light, your own authority, your own Buddha.

One could argue that it is the true message of Jesus Christ, although the mystical version and not the Christian version.

One could argue that it is the true legacy of Aleisteir Crowley, he certainly was his own light. His followers sometimes forget that they should follow his example and invent their own light, not to copy him.

And so on…..

… for every prophet.

Thankfully I am in constant development, but sometimes things does not just develop, the universe changes. In Luciferian terms, this is possibly why there can be no conformity in Luciferianism, meaning that two Luciferians may characteristically share many symptoms of being Luciferian, but may have vastly different worldviews still, and of course may have different levels of initiation.

So what happened recently is that I went away for a few months, and even let my domain expire. Yes it was serious and I had to do more than dig myself out of a hole this time – it was more like navigating the USS Enterprise out of a black hole and into the next universe. And anyone who has read Steven Hawking theories knows that to enter a black hole means being crushed.

Occultists like me often end up in different esoteric orders with completely different worldviews, and as an occultist one get used to juggling these different ways of looking at the universe – and everything is nice and dandy. Until the day comes when you realize that you changed your own universe. Not how you look at the universe but you changed the universe you lived in.

I am still Luciferian, but I just survived my own apocalypse – thankfully I am told that this is normal  – once you undergo certain initiations things are not the same. I should remember since the last time it happened was in 2008. But that was before I had this blog.

Come to think of it – it is only one month away before I revise my Luciferian Principles 😀

This should be fun 😀

I will write some interesting blogs now onwards on the kind of insane things I have lived through.