The basis of all occult study is the study of the Mystery in order to attain the knowledge of the Mystery, sometimes also in the form of The Knowledge and Conversation with your Holy Guardian Angel, or Enlightenment, or Nirvana, or true Adept.
The mystery manifests itself in many ways and through symbolism, the occultist works through the secret art of knowing what can not be transmitted in words alone, but which has to be experienced to understand it.
One of the most potent symbols is the three main phases of Creation, Destruction and Re-creation.
Here on tainted Earth, It comes from the very Saturnian energy of Chronos, time, which brings the law of change.
Everything change, as humans do, we are born, we get old and die, and our genes lives on in our children and our persona is perpetuated in the minds of our close ones, or preserved in history for those few among us who actually did something useful.
To try to resist change is always painful, as the Bhuddist remind us in their explanation of Suffering and the cause of Suffering, which is mostly related to the fact that everything changes, everything that exist will be gone at some time. Clinging to attached ideas is a natural reflex for a soul that still remembers a more perfect existance, a more permanent reality.
Meditate on the reason why your inner self is not letting go of the idea of a permanent reality,