Sometimes being around adepts in ceremonial Magick makes me wonder what it is like knowing the Royal Secret.

I have seen the look in their eyes. I have even seen it happen, the change from one day to the next day, when adepthood was reached and the person became enlightened, it used to be a happy look, but it is the same pitiful look a parent gives to a child who asks if Santa Claus really exists, and the parent is unable to keep lying.

What could be such a terrible truth it must remain hidden from the uninitiated?

Today I pondered the question, then I realized suddenly, the relation between Man, Nature and the Universe.

Of course only to my current level of understanding. But I am beginning to think I am onto the solution.

I cannot explain very well except through these points that may serm unrelated but which adds up to hinting at the solution.

1) occultists cannot be happy unless they search for and try to understand te universe – the hard way – which is to work with, know, and master controlling reality.
2) normal people can be happy without.
3) adepts are occultists who learned to live like normal people. Each moment in time is a mystery, sacred and magickal.
4) the universe doesnt change, the magickian does.
5) buddha, jesus, crowley all understood basically the same
Mystery but the answer became filtered through the limits imposed by language. Crowley realized this perhaps better than the two first examples so his ego made damn sure the story would be told according to HIS understanding, but this understanding is only his reality, and unless you make his reality your reality it won’t work for you.
6) simple test right now: what unique idea or concept defines the real you – if you for a moment take away language and cultural references to describe? Instead how would you describe yourself if you could use no words at all?