First Day Back at Work.

It’s 1045 and I am back at work. After a month of vacation. So far, I managed to forget my door access code, then remember it again just before HR sent me an SMS containing the same. I have answered email with stupid questions like “Can you elaborate what you mean by product X requires FIPS-140-2 compliance”, where my response was “It means product X must be certified according to FIPS-140-2……”

My closest coworkers doesn’t feel as muggly (new word: definition: that muggles feeling) but give off warm energy patterns, with Mercurial intelligence. This is reassuring. Some other people here at work do however give off the very braindead signature of someone just following the stream.


Oh Lord.

Oh Lord who art in heaven.

Yes you.

Come down here, lets have a talk.

Tomorrow I go to work. After a long vacation. Ok? So please open the seven seals and end this. Because my colleagues are so fucking annoying.

Ok? Thanks – go back up and please surprise me tomorrow. Do one thing right for once. Dont wait for another world war. Its not worth it. Neither is sitting with 200 of my colleagues in a canteen listening to their conformist vacation stories.

Oh Satan Lord of the Seven Hells, please comfort us in the next hours when we must deal with this shit.

Buddha, lend me some of that tranquil spirit shit.

Everyone else shut up.

The new boyfriend.

gaara_close_up_naruto_shippuuden_blue_eyes_hd-wallpaper-1156454One small but not minor aspect of Solar consciousness I realized today is the symbolism of truth. As the Sun lights up the World, so everything is exposed, hence the expression ‘comes out into daylight’. This concept, for an individual as myself, is quite new and strange.

Being a child of the night, my Lunar self would see things in the night where the calm had came over the Mundane World, so as to reveal more hidden and mystical things. Muggles would be in bed dreaming their sweet dreams, while shadows like myself would roam in the night, bathing in the astral Lunar silvery light, perhaps working towards truth through some form of deceit. Certainly manipulation and puppet-mastery is a kind of deceit, even if it were for the best of purposes.

So over one year ago I started working towards truth in the Solar sense, and invited this light into my life even more than the fire and light of the highest, because it now had come down far enough that some truth could be lit in my physical manifestation of this world that is my life.

So the boyfriend. He is the strangest little kid I have met – with such an old soul. While I am more manipulative and can stretch truth, he deals in absolute truth, that is, he is being totally honest without hiding his true emotions. He doesn’t know how to lie. He can manipulate with truth. Even though I am 18 years older than him I feel humbled by his 20 year old existance on this planet in the physical sense, he gives off a patience and wisdom of a 200 year old.

He has had no other boyfriend than me, so I know the fact that he wants to spend time with me is, in a way, special. (If not unique). He must be so unsure of me. He knows I usually had many lovers. But now for the first time I think in terms of being only with him.

He has the most beautiful eyes you can sink into for an eternity. He has red/brown hair that is wild and reminds you of a furred animal, like a red wolf. His ears have the most beautiful and strange silver piercing shaped to follow his upper ear so he does look like he got this from the elves themselves, forged by silver and moonlight and morning dew.

He has the capability to get completely past all my defences. And there he remains, rock-steady, honest to death, loyal but finally loyal only to his own Will.

I am in behind his defences too – first time for him. We are so vulnerable to eachother. Yet I feel safe with him.

Give and ye shall receive


At a retreat, many people came to me with their problems. I solve problems. One brother did not have any more alcohol. So I gave him a 10 year old Japanese whiskey. He would probably have settled with Swedish Absolut or some other cheap stuff but I don’t have cheap stuff. All I had was Sake (13%) and this.

This bottle I didn’t buy, but someone gave it to me as thanks for my help. I know I can pass it on, and that as soon as I do this another bottle will appear.

Now I have a 12 year old Scottish whiskey that I got yesterday, from someone else, as thanks for some other thing I helped with.

Together with 2 kg of chocholate.

My pleasure is to help others and always find ways to be there and to give away. Because I have this attitude to life, people give me stuff all the time.

I am not afraid of losing what I give away (Playstation or Whiskey or my time) since I always get more in return, not necessarily from the same people but the Universe makes sure I lack nothing and that I am always ready to provide for those who need it.

Werewolf love songs


I have a new boyfriend. He is 20, and spiritually a Lycan. Since my familiar is a wolf, this may very well be the one. He is of course very influenced by Luna, as am I. And I thought I was an introvert. This one is more introvert that I could imagine. I know kids today grow up on the internet. But to think that *everything* could be done online to the extent that all social skill has been wiped out, I did not see that one coming.

A virgin, but not by any means pure of thought, I have initiated him into the mysteries of carnal pleasures, but with the intention of opening up his inner planes to receive the light and love.

It is working well. Before my retreat I just met him one day, then again yesterday, and he is opening up faster than I thought. Today we made a pact of sorts, sealled magickally. It feels good to be in a serious relationship.

My attraction to lycantropy and vampires.

Devout fans of “Twilight” would agree vampires and werewolfs does not mix. I tend to differ on these matters.

My attraction however is to both of these subliminal archetypes that remain so interwoven (and necessary) part of popular culture and (our contemporary as well as old) folklore.

It started when I was around 8 or 9 years, and my lunar/sexual energies were raised. I had an attraction to vampires, as well as werewolfs as I much enjoyed movies and books, my need to find a real one made me write my desire on pieces of paper that were thrown out the window, into the moonlit night (only to be discovered by my very confused parents as they were tending the garden the next day).

Now in my youth years, my encounters were of astral spirits of the night of such disposal. Only in the later years have I truly been in bed with one in the physical sense.

Fangs white and meanacing, triggers fear in the human psyche, but I get a feeling of calm and sensual kinship. These kind of dentures are by nature designed to rip and tear flesh. Feeling a set of perfect sharp fangs grip my throat, symbolically millimeters away from severing my life running through the blood in my arteries, and at the same time, astrally feeling my lifeforce and energies being drained, caused a momentary rush of excitement as thrill seekers get perhaps when they jump in parachutes or pursue any dangerous setting that really is not that dangerous. But this? Unless you knew what you were doing you would be, as they say, be in dire straits.

The fangs seek deeper. My kundalini rises and I pull energies the vampire latched onto my throat gets as a surprise. I rush the alchemical fire through him and me. The energy goes back and forth through our bodies. One with the light of Lucifer and the Familiar of a Wolf. The other, the soul-less vampire, he has no inner light, he feeds off others light.

We are in a symbiosis at this moment. Although he is used to skimming the energies of the average muggle, this is a complete combustion. He gets bold. Sexual energy and alchemical fire is now at its climax. My back and muscles flex. It is an act of surrendering of the flesh, but not of the spirit. The spirit triumphs as alchemical fire is turned even into a higher level of energy, and the bite is relased.

For just 24 hours my severe bruises are visible. They should take weeks to heal but magickally dissappear one solar revolution later.

Since that my vampire friend has not sexually assaulted me. I wish we could do it again, soon.

Lucifer and Good and Evil.

Norway’s summer is not too hot, in fact it’s been quite cold these days. As I have banished clutter in my material life, I’ve worked on the psychological plane, and Saturn has helped. Luna as usual presents its challenges and getting these two forces to be friends is hard work.

Usually myself is the victim of my own occult process, but today a friend took a blow. I made a mistake that hurt him, and while I apologised it still baffles me how I could make a mistake based on my own ego, and here indeed is the danger of the ego of letting it go.

My animal body is so easily fooled by desire, and the ego once fed, will then take control. The idea here is to be individualistic and a Risen One, while not being an idiot.

I think it was yesterday – I had a moment of thought – over an expensive Whiskey – in my study room, contemplating wether I should write an article on this blog about the concepts of Good and Evil.

Now, most of us Occultists and Luciferians, etc, will go the dualism way on this argument, pointing at the dual nature of Good and Evil are essentially emanating from the same thing, and therefore is an illusion (does not exist). So 2 = 1 = 0.

Even the Bhuddist will realize “all (states of being) are empty”. (Zen).

But if this is so simple, why do human beings put so much time and energy into sorting things into Good and Evil?

Religions, Laws, Morale, Societies and Wars are fought and won over the definition of these things throughout history past present and future.

The obvious danger of defining Good and Evil have been established.

But when we hurt others, we are doing Evil. This is not neccessary or acceptable unless it is necessary. So hurting for pleasure is a distraction from the Great Work. Doing good can also be a distraction, unless it is furthering the ideals in the act of bringing forth the Light.

Nobody is a harder judge than a Luciferian onto himself.